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I wait for a train to approach and calmly walk out in the middle of the line. I stop and turn my back on the oncoming train. All I can hear is the sound of its horn and the squeal of its brakes. The horn gets louder and louder as the train gets nearer. I know that I haven't given the driver time to stop, so I wait for the bump; the bump that will release me from this hell of an existence."Peter, are you alright? I heard you scream and found you shivering," a beautiful voice asks.I was alive, worse luck. It must have been a dream. I look at the face peering down at me and I start to remember. I'm in the shelter, so this must be a volunteer. She looks concerned."I'm okay, really. Thanks for asking," I reply with no real enthusiasm."Do you want to talk about it?" she asks."About what?" I reply."About the dream?" she replied."You're not really interested," I said."Have it your way, but I'm not being nice. I want to know why you cried out." I didn't cry out, did I?" Let's go to the. She stood too close... I knew what she was thinking. I stood by her, ready to grab on and hold her back if she tried.I made small talk while she weighed the choice in her mind. A family with a small child came near and provided a welcome distraction from the moment. She stepped back from the edge. During a different conversation on a different day, she told me I couldn't have stopped her if she had decided to go - and maybe she was right. But I know I would have died trying and I think she did too. I saved her life that day. And then we walked back to my truck and sat in the cab out of the wind and listened to some playlists she had made up. and we talked. While we listened to the music, she sang to me. And then the wave of emotion came for her.I held her in my arms for a long time while she cried it out. All of the pain. All of the judgment. All of the uncertainty. And I fell in love with her during that hour. I wasn't looking for love and neither was she. It's the power.
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